The Autistic world

My thoughts run wild, sometimes. A lot of times when I am board, need a break or sometimes I just plain don't want to be there. I let them wander it is a place I call the Autistic world. Its a place where I can gather myself, a place I go when I don't want to be seen by anyone like a ghost. It is like dreaming when you are wide awake. I can't always control where my thoughts go.Mostly I dram about things i would like to have happen or do. Sometimes I think about a friend. what would it be like to see them again, what would they look like and would they remember me?. Sometimes it is about animals like owning my dream horse or going to another country and what it would be like?. sometimes these dreams have come true other times they won't and probably never will. Most of my life these thoughts have been a secret and I haven't been able to explain them or why they happen they just do.

Being autistic though I hate labels is like being in a world of your own. No body truely understands me and you don't always understand anyone else. It doesn't mean I am crazy or stupid it just means I am different from you. If you don't have autism you can't very well know what it is like for someone who is autistic just as I don't know what it is like to not be an autistic person or what people call "normal". I have never not been autistic and I will always be autistic. Its not going to go away no matter how many doctors try to give me treatments and try to make me "normal". I try to blend in as much as I can. I have over come a lot of the obstacles but I can't over come them all but at the end of the day I am still autistic. I am quiet gentle person and I don't always have a lot to say but I am listening. My thoughts are running wild.